11/8/2022 0 Comments Spaceballs script pdfI know you're probably angry with me that your girlfriend and your four-armed monkey buddy had to die for nothing. Woody, I'm sorry I dropped the train car, but it was the only way to save us. JON and THANDIE both die, and ALDEN loses all the coaxium. Spaceballs script pdf full#The next day, they try to steal a train car full of coaxium, but their mission is thwarted after the CLOUD RIDERS attack them. Oh COME ON, man! If we have to give an explanation for stuff, shouldn't they at least be interesting?! What's next? Do we find out where the Death Star got shiny black floors? Or where Salacious Crumb got his laugh? And yeah, go ahead and hold on to those for the rest of your lives. And Chewie, just pick up any old bandolier you see lying around. Let's focus on the heist, shall we? Alden, here's a blaster for you. Do you honestly think she'd stay on a worm infested, crime ridden planet just for the off chance that you would come back? What's that supposed to mean? Even if she's not dead, imprisoned, or chained to a giant slug, she could have just moved on without you. You're going back to Corellia for a girl? It's been three years, how do you know she'll still be there? It's a goddamned nickname for Porg's sake!ĪLDEN, CHEWIE, WOODY, THANDIE, and JON chat around a camp fire. What the fuck? Did we really just give an explanation for why you call me "Chewie?" It's not like you call me Sparky or Fred or something. I'm gonna have to call you something shorter! What's your name anyway?Ĭhewbacca? That's way too long of a name. Okay, so we do one heist with these guys and then we'll be free. They both escape and WOODY decides to let them join. Um, were you using the present participle? Sorry, I got a C in this class. RAWRG GRGRWHHRARRG RWGWRAAAARHHG ARGHGRRHAHG GGRWG? Yeah mostly just "how are you?" and "where is the library?" Now whatdya say you and I team up and get out of here? Gurgle!! That's right, I speak Shyriiwook! And I can pull off a beloved character, albeit just a younger, more naive one! That should be enough to bring in audiences, right?ĪLDEN gets thrown into a PIT. Just give me a chance! I'm from Corellia so I'm used to heists and being screwed over. Sorry kid, we're looking for a rough, Harrison Ford type. You're a bunch of thieves and I want to join your group! I know you guys aren't in the Imperial army. He meets WOODY HARRELSON, THANDIE NEWTON, and CGI JON FAVREAU. Wow, thanks random stranger! That's the coolest name ever! It makes me want to keep it for the rest of my life and also give it to my son if I should ever have one!Īfter being kicked out of the flight academy, ALDEN fights as an infantryman. Okay, I'll just put down "Solo," because you're alone. Well that's a relief! Hell, I don't even have a last name! I also won't even check if you're that guy everyone is looking for around here. And don't worry, I won't ask for your ID like that other officer did. Good to know we're keeping the whole "Stormtroopers are idiots" thing.ĪLDEN goes up to a RECRUITER for the Imperial TOP GUN ACADEMY. Wow, I've been yelling and banging on this window for a good 30 seconds, and yet no guards have caught me or even know who they're looking for yet. Noooo!! Get your hands off her!! I'll come back for you, Emilia! I promise I'll come back!! ALDEN gets through, but two of LINDA'S MINIONS grab EMILIA! The OFFICER then shuts the door and calls security on ALDEN! They get to a check point and bribe an IMPERIAL OFFICER. sure! 'Cause we all know that's definitely going to happen. Spaceballs script pdf skin#Sorry lady, but who do you think is going to win this fight? The guy who has to prove himself as the cunning Han Solo, or the idiot who keeps windows in her lair when she's severely allergic to sunlight?ĪLDEN defeats LINDA by giving her SKIN CANCER, and he and EMILIA speed away in his cruiser.ĭon't worry Emilia, with this coaxium, we can buy our way out of this dump and live happily ever after! Yeah, I guess we like the way The Last Airbender looked, so we decided to go with that. Um, I know we're going for the dark and gritty atmosphere here, and I'm all for it, but for fuck's sake I can't see a damn thing! Everything is so dark and fuzzy. Spaceballs script pdf movie#That's right folks, it's a movie about fuel again! I see you have managed to get your hands on some hyperfuel called coaxium. NOT HARRISON FORD and NOT LEIA try to escape the gritty streets, but are caught by WORM LADY LINDA HUNT'S minions and brought to her. if ever such a thing were possible.īut by some miracle, for better or worse, we can all come together and agree.Ī Han Solo origin story did not need to be made. Also, thanks to Disney cranking these movies out every six months, Star Wars fatigue has possibly begun to set in. Tensions are still high from The Last Jedi, and fans can still be found arguing on Mark Hamill's twitter account to this day.
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